Someone recently told me ‘You don’t fall in Love, it just happens’. With a smile, a wink, a wave, you are soon wondering how your first name sounds with his last name. Love is a tricky business and it happens when you are least expecting it and in the most unusual way.
Whether you just started dating someone or you’ve been in a happy relationship for a while now, its super exciting (and Yes, super scary) when things are going well. But before that rainbow coloured four letter word comes up, its not uncommon to question your feelings for the other person. Sure there’s the butterflies that come when you first start seeing someone. But how do you know when lust turns to love? Do you really love them, or is it purely physical?
Darlings, the anatomy of Love is not as complicated as you may think. The way I see it, lust is driven by sexual gratification, which means it doesn’t matter who you are sleeping with as long as the deed is done. Romantic love, or what I call ‘attachment’, is characterized as being hyper focused on one person. Everything about them – from the music they listen to, to what they eat – takes on special value. A lovesick person’s M.O. is to spend as much time with their partner as possible.
Sounds a little extreme? When I put my smitten test subjects into an MRI machine, the area of the brain that controls infatuation lit right up. While people in the early stages of romantic love have more intense attachment than those who tied the knot a long time ago – the obsession with your partner continues regardless of age.
Even if you are not ready to say that four letter word, here are a few signs that you might have given your heart away ❤
❤ They sneak into your mind at the most random times
You go to Spencers to buy some Nutella and all of a sudden, in the middle of the aisle, you break into a big goofy smile and just think, OMFG! I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY. Your insides melt into a puddle of mush and your day instantly brightens just thinking about them. It’s a buzz that’s better than Starbucks.
❤ You change up your usual routine
Impressing the other person is often your main priority if you are intensely attracted to someone. That means you might take up a hobby like running, even if it’s not your usual thing, to try and impress your beloved. Change looks different for everyone. Some people change their hair to suit the other’s preference, while others may start dressing to their partner’s liking.
❤ They give you butterflies
While it sounds like a cliché, it’s SO TRUE! You feel awkward, weak in the knees, trembling and short of breath when your love is around. Have you ever found yourself laughing in nervousness? Yep, that’s the same thing!
❤ You want them to want you
Emotional reciprocity is the key component of love relationships, and it’s a big part of why breakups are such a mess. The desire to be equally loved in return sets this special breed of attachment apart from crushes.
❤ You crave exclusivity
No more of this active tinder profile business. You want to lock it down, and certainly make sure that they are not seeing anyone else.
❤ You become extremely flexible
Remember how the decision making part of the brain shuts down? Well, when it comes down to your partner, it’s making small decisions all the time to determine whether or not you are compatible and trust me, you’ll place more focus on the positive ones. Factors that used to be important to you in a mate, like their priorities, their habits etc, can become extremely negotiable.
So, how did you know you were in love? Did you find out if your special someone is the peanut butter to your jelly?