Are You Ready For a Committed Relationship ?

 

 

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When we were young, we were told that one day, we’d live happily ever after. But now that we’ve grown up, we’ve come to realize that relationships — and life in general — is far, far more complicated than that.

When a relationship begins, it is a love affair. Fascination, joy, sex, inspiration, delight, and sex, sex, sex. At some point, however, this phase ends. (I’m sorry, it just does. It may take a few months or a decade, but it does.) I’m not saying that long term relationships can’t be romantic and sexy, but eventually, that beginning phase must end. That is why it is called the “beginning.” It is really easy to become confused about what to do next. If love affairs are about talking, having adventures, and making love, then relationships are about creating a household, meeting each other’s friends, and figuring out how much debt everyone has.

When it comes to deepening a commitment, the first question I would ask is, “Can you navigate conflict?” So, check. Here are some questions I suggest you ask yourself.

Ask Yourself These 5 Questions:

  1. Do I love his skin?

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Do you long to touch him, hold his hand, love his smell, and his physical presence? Interestingly, chemistry tends to last whether or not you’re in a period of more or less desire for each other. I know this is not your standard “expert” advice, but when skin loves skin, touch can trump many disagreements.

  1. Is he nice?

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He may be brilliant, hilarious, and handsome but, you know? SO WHAT. While these are truly desirable qualities, they are not the most important when it comes to making a relationship last. Most important is the ability and willingness to be kind, generous, open-hearted, and decent. Is he a good person? If you believe he is, proceed. If you are not really sure (and who hasn’t loved a bad boy?), um, at least take note.

  1. Am I 100% certain that this relationship can work?

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If the answer is “yes,” I’d be suspicious. “No” is a much more sane answer. I mean, who is certain? When I hear someone say, “He’s everything I ever dreamed of!” I get scared. I’m not saying that your beloved shouldn’t surpass every expectation of what you imagined love to be, but there comes a point in every relationship where you have to choose between who this person is and who you wished he was. When you are relating to a real person rather than a fantasy person, there is always some uncertainty. That’s a good sign.

  1. Can I talk to him about things I care about?

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This is different than, “Do we share values and interests?” For me, my husband and I could have almost nothing in common.. I like to read and hang about inside. He might like to go fishing. But if I feel that I can share with him what is in my heart of hearts, that’s essential.

  1. Can I imagine loving him a little bit more than I love the idea of “us?”

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If you can each hold your love for the other just slightly above your love of the relationship you have, you will be capable of creating a truly happy bond. This is the key to the whole thing. If you can love him and care for him more than loving the idea of being in a relationship, then just go for it!

Last but not least, talk about it

 

Take some time and contemplate these questions. If your answers make you want to deepen your commitment, then decide whether or not you’d like to discuss moving ahead.

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Unfortunately, no one can tell you exactly what to say. Just trust yourself. Be honest. Talk about what you feel and what you’re uncertain about. Share your fears without expecting him to soothe them. Share your longings without expecting him to satisfy them. Share what is in your heart. At the end of the conversation, you may or may not be in agreement or even know what to do next, but you will have become more intimate.

While romance always fades, intimacy has no end, none whatsoever. Every interaction you have can deepen it whether you agree with each other, disagree, or have no idea what is going on. You can count on that.

 

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And That’s the way LOVE goes…

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Someone recently told me ‘You don’t fall in Love, it just happens’. With a smile, a wink, a wave, you are soon wondering how your first name sounds with his last name. Love is a tricky business and it happens when you are least expecting it and in the most unusual way.

Whether you just started dating someone or you’ve been in a happy relationship for a while now, its super exciting (and Yes, super scary) when things are going well. But before that rainbow coloured four letter word comes up, its not uncommon to question your feelings for the other person. Sure there’s the butterflies that come when you first start seeing someone. But how do you know when lust turns to love? Do you really love them, or is it purely physical? Continue reading

Are You Too Good For Him?!

Everyone dates the wrong people all the time. We’ve all been there, done that! In fact, it is definitive that before you finally find the right person to settle down with, you will date people who are not just bad for you, but also, who are not good enough for you.

How do we know then, if we are too good for him or her? Is it low self esteem or being ruled by chemistry as opposed to logic? Whatever the case may be, sometimes we end up with someone we’re simply too good for, and when we do, we need to bail!

But when you’ve fallen in love with someone and the brain has kicked into that mode where all that matters is that person, morning, noon and night; clarity and reason bid adieu! It is then, when you need to summon the strength and be able to pick up on the signs that your partner is simply not good enough for you.

Here are eight signs that can help you shake such people out of your life. You need to make a move to get out now and find someone who’s worthy of all the fantastic things you have to offer. Continue reading

Faith and Trust and Pixie Dust!

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They say a little trust always goes a long way. It is the glue that holds all relationships. Building trust in a relationship is one of the most rewarding and difficult things you can do to improve your relationship. It involves both partners being mindful, being present, and being committed to a healthy relationship at all times.

Nothing can bring more joy to life than beautifully fulfilling relationships. A healthy relationship is about being comfortable and confident with each other. Relationships thrive when trust is strong. So what can one do to create a strong and trusting relationship with one’s partner and how does one build it in the first place? Marriage should be a refuge not a worry. Here are a few dos and don’ts that promise a healthy, happy relationship

Continue reading

Through The Mist Of Emotions!

such_is_life I’ve really been pondering lately over what to do with this little piece of my life. Clearly I’ve been doing something else, because I sure as heck haven’t been writing much. I’ve been so sporadic with posting that I may as well not call myself a blogger anymore… and if I have to say “Sorry for the absence (yet again)” one more time, I may just stop following myself. I have to be honest. I have sat down to write my posts so many times now that I’ve lost count. I tried to write it in the middle of the struggles I’m facing, just to update everyone and to spill my heart a little bit, because I needed some therapy but the words wouldn’t come. Well, honestly – the words came, but they weren’t the words I wanted to say. I was bitter. I was questioning God. I was emotional. And my words showed it. I don’t want to be someone who publicly doubts God, even when my heart is feeling it – I don’t want to show it. If you are friends with me or know me personally, this is old news to you, but I still need to write it, even if its just for me. Because my heart changed, my spirit has awakened, and I see everything just a little bit differently, as cliché as that sounds. I’ve always had trouble expressing myself in front of others. Yes! Hard to believe as it may be, not even my family knows the true “ME”! In real life I come across as a happy-go-lucky, talkative girl – someone who manages to smile through the worst situations, so much so, that I have at times been called an Ice Princess to my face (for being emotionally detached). But to tell you the truth, I can actually count the number of people who ACTUALLY know me, on one hand. I compartmentalize everything. Broken, Sad, Angry, Disappointed…I have many small boxes in my heart where I simply lock everything I’m not ready to face, and forget about it. It’s not the same as bottling things up until they overflow; they are more like Pandora’s boxes- forgotten till eternity or all hell will break loose. A survivor’s mechanism – Yes, but this has changed me over time – and HOW! I crave for someone who understands how I feel without my having to say anything, explain anything, justify anything! Since I’m sure as hell never going to find one like that, I have taken the first nervous baby steps into this world of journaling my feelings online – where I hope to find people, who mirror my emotions, ramble on, talk, chat.. and just plain feel better about themselves without the scare of people judging them. Confused as ever, I really didn’t know what to call this little space of mixed emotions. I wanted to write about ‘words I wish I had said’, ‘random musings of a sentimental dreamer’, ‘confessions of a hopeless romantic’, ‘chronicles of an unpredictable drama queen’, so, I choose to call it – ‘LIFE AS I KNOW IT’ – as someone who is trying to learn the uncomfortable art of letting herself be seen. Because beneath the makeup and behind the smile, I’m just a girl who wishes for the world. Kritika_Sharma

CANSA – Share To Care

CANSA - relay for life

Catching up with a friend who lives in South Africa, last night I found out that Michelle has been super, super busy these past weeks organizing a team to support the CANSA Relay For Life in her hometown – Port Shepstone.

Now, I know she runs her own business, takes care of her home and family and is currently spending every free minute trying to make this Cancer Relay a whooping success. I innocently asked her, “Do you enjoy it?” Knowing how exhausted she was, I thought she’d say that she is tired and would like a break, but she surprised me by saying that she loves every minute of it! I was really inspired by her commitment to this cause. Her motivation to give back to the community, even though she herself isn’t directly affected, it is extremely impressive and takes a tremendous amount of empathy.

And this got me thinking – What can I do to help out on a larger scale. Sure, I’ve spent time volunteering as a teacher at NGOs, donate clothes and food at shelters, but what could I do to help at a global level? And then it dawned on me – “SPREAD THE WORD, MAKE PEOPLE AWARE!” Thus, today I urge EVERY ONE of you lovely readers to help out the community. You don’t have to donate money, all you need to do is – Share to Care! Share this blog and use the social media to the advantage of this noble cause.

CANSA - Relay for life

The CANSA Relay For Life is part of an international movement that unites cancer survivors and the communities that care about them. It offers everyone in the community the opportunity to fight against cancer and to honor those who have been touched by cancer.

Relay for life is a fun, overnight team event which is Volunteer driven and Community owned. At the relay, each team of 10-15 members commit to having at least one team member walking around the track at all times for 18-24 hours, because cancer neither slumbers nor sleeps! After sunset, tribute is paid in a very emotive Luminaria Ceremony by lighting candles inside luminaria bags which encircle the track – these bags are dedicated to those who have lost their battle, to those who are still fighting and to those who have won their struggle against cancer.

Find out more about the CANSA RELAY FOR LIFE here!

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Friends, it doesn’t matter where in the world you live, today, take a moment to support this noble cause by clicking the share button (it literally takes a minute). You can join me in supporting this event by making it viral in the hopes of making people aware. Every little bit helps!

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I’ve Shown My Support. What About You?

This Or That – Beauty Edition Tag

Kritika_Sharma

Being a true-to-the-core Gemini, ‘This or That’ is an epithet often awarded to me. Eternally confused and loving every minute of it; this Beauty Edition tag has been exceptionally fun to write (especially since answering every question was like choosing between my arm and leg) and I have the very beautiful Nadine to thank for it. If you haven’t been to her blog – ‘Ladies and Lace‘ (now isn’t THAT a fashionable name 😉 ), then you have no idea what you are missing. Pop over to say hello and enjoy her wonderful musings!

                             When I saw this tag on Karen’s blog (another lovely blogger who’s posts just fill your heart with joy!), I really wanted to be a part of it. Fashion and beauty are the propellers to my existence, so you can imagine how chuffed I was to find that I had been tagged by Nadine to feature in it 🙂

Let’s get the ball rolling!

Make-up:

  • Blush or Bronzer?

❤ Bronzer. I have naturally rosy cheeks and use foundation to tone it down, but I don’t think I can do without my bronzer (contouring, you see!)

  • Lip Gloss or Lipstick?

❤ Lipstick especially the 9-5 kinds as I do tend to eat them minutes after applying *facepalm*

  • Eyeliner or Mascara?

❤ I feel naked without my Mascara – eyeliner I can do without. Mascara tends to open up my peeps.

  • Foundation or Concealer?

❤ Ooh! That’s a toughie! I think I’d have to say foundation. Full coverage I guess.

  • Neutral or Colour Eyeshadow?

❤ Is gold neutral? I don’t think I’ve ever experimented with colour *hmm, Interesting!*

  • Brushes or Sponges?

❤ Brushes, any day. So much easier to handle.

Nails :

  • OPI or China Glaze?

❤ I haven’t heard of China Glaze (sounds Interesting), so OPI

  • Long or Short?

❤ Longish… I wish I were comfortable with long nails but they make typing very difficult, so I settle for ‘between long and short’.

  • Acrylic or Natural?

❤ Natural… I’ve tried permanent acrylics and they lasted less than a day and cost me a bomb. I couldn’t stand the feel of them 😐

  • Brights or Darks?

❤ Neutrals. I usually flaunt a French Manicure and can stand vibrant hues on my nails for a few hours only, but give me a neutral shade any day. *Am I weird?*

Body:

  • Perfume or Body Spray?

❤ Duh! Perfume. Here’s a tip – Spritz a little perfume in your closet and your clothes will always smell nice, even on days when you forget to wear perfume in a hurry 🙂

  • Lotion or Body Butter?

❤ I have combination skin, so body butter in winters and lotions in summers. I especially love the olive body butter by The Body Shop.

  • Body Wash or Soap?

❤ The awesome range of fruity body washes! They smell good enough to eat 🙂

  • Lush or other Bath Stores?

❤ We don’t have Lush here so I pick The Body Shop. I think I own almost every single product of their’s. I’m quite a hoarder  that way – too bad, they last an eternity.

Fashion:

  • Jeans or Sweatpants?

❤ ‘I am a sweatpants and messy hair kind of girl’ *stealing the quote I found on Pinterest*

  • Long Sleeved or Short?

❤ Short. Long Sleeves make me look frumpy 😦

  • Dresses or Skirts?

❤ Ummm… Both! Yep, definitely both. Flirty dresses and cute skirts 😉

  • Stripes or Plaids?

❤ Stripes, but only vertical. Horizontal stripes tend to add about ten pound to my figure *facepalm*

  • Flip flops or Sandals?

❤ Flip flops or ballet flats, but when I’m partying out it definitely sky-high heels – much to the discomfiture of my short height-ed bestie :p

  • Scarves or Hats?

❤ Scarves. They are so Parisian-chic! *dreamy-eyed*

  • Studs or Dangling Earrings?

❤ Studs – diamonds to be precise. Could there be anything better?

  • Necklaces or Bracelets?

❤ Chunky bracelets any day

Hair:

  • Curly or Straight?

❤ The best of both worlds – Wavy! (my natural hair texture)

  • Bun or Ponytail?

❤ A messy bun. I don’t remember when I wore my hair in a ponytail last.

  • Long or Short?

❤ Loooooooooong! Like really long. *sob sob* cursing the slow growth of my medium-length tresses.

  • Light or Dark?

❤ Or red or green or purple 😉 Name the shade and I’ve got it done at some point in my life, much to my mom’s horror! Right now it’s light-ish! 🙂

  • Up or Down?

❤ Down, most of the time.

 My Nominees – 

Awww… it’s over! I had fun doing this! It’s so enlightening when you are pinned down to choose either ‘This or That’. Thanks again Nadine, for tagging me!

Hope you guys had as much fun reading it as I had answering it! Have a Happy Weekend!

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50 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME !

Kritika_Sharma

Hey there, Blogging Bunnies!

Hope you all had a great, fun week. I have been meaning to get back into blogging for quite some time now. So, I thought why not start with something that gives you an opportunity to get to know me better. I’ve been seeing this tag floating around my reader for quite some time now and I must say it’s quite helpful in getting to know fellow bloggers. So, Here are my 50 random facts.  Apologies if it’s a bit too long! (I Love Talking)

1 ❤ I am a hopeless romantic even though I don’t believe in fairy tales.

2 ❤ I am a true Gemini – to the core – right down to the multiple personalities and quite proud of being the ‘FUN’ zodiac.

3 ❤ Eternal love for me is caring for someone. I’m the kind of person who shows my love by caring and not through words.

4 ❤ I hate exercising in the gym but am always game for hiking, leisure walks, swims and yoga.

5 ❤ I am addicted to chocolate and may need to go to a rehab – if they have one for people like me! If I don’t get to eat something even remotely chocolaty everyday I get really grumpy.

6 ❤ Another one of my addictions is hot chocolate and coffee – and I absolutely detest any kind of cold drink – coffee, water, shakes et all.

7 ❤ I love learning new languages – and the next on my list is French. The day I learn French I’ll treat myself to a trip to Paris – the city of love, wine and street style cafes.

8 ❤ I love driving even though I strongly say I hate it – I dunno why I do this, seriously! :\

9 ❤ I dream in black and white.

10 ❤ I love the 1950s when chivalry wasn’t dead and romance was at it’s best.

11 ❤ I’m a huge fan of Audrey Hepburn and wore my first black dress and my mom’s pearls at the tender age of 12. This jump started my love for fashion.

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12 ❤ I am a bookworm. I just love the smell of old, dog-eared books. They have so many tales to tell but I completely hate e-Books and Kindle.

13 ❤ I can’t sleep without reading a book. My all-time favourite is ‘Alice in Wonderland’. It’s also my guide to life – so much wisdom in those words!

14 ❤ I love mountains more than beaches but that’s mainly because I love snow; winter being my favourite season.

15 ❤ I absolutely love dogs and will own one someday. I’ve even picked out the name – ‘Kiezer’ (kaa-eh-zer).

16 ❤ I am a hard core foodie and have to have tons of options to choose from, only to eat everything on offer and then some more!

17 ❤ Which brings me to my silliest and truest wish – to eat without gaining weight *sigh*

18 ❤ I just love spending time at the Spa. It’s so therapeutic – more than shopping *eep*

19 ❤ I love and own loads of expensive makeup but don’t know how to put it on properly.

20 ❤ I always end up using kohl and tinted lip balm (Born Lippy from The Body Shop).

21 ❤ I hate talking on the phone. It’s so discomforting when you can’t see someone’s face.

22 ❤ I own 27 pairs of flats but wear the same pair everyday *I am weird*

23 ❤ I prefer casual over dressy and would wear jeans and Tee to work everyday if I could get away with it .

24 ❤ I hate drinking tea.

25 ❤ Here’s an irony – I love the British custom of having tea and cakes every afternoon – just make mine coffee and cakes/cookies.

26 ❤ I’ve only ever worn one perfume all my life – Chanel No.5 – a classic.

27 ❤ If I don’t give a ‘d’uck about you I won’t even bother arguing, justifying or replying back to you. You’ll simply cease to exist in my world.

28 ❤ I am a complete ‘weirdo’ when it comes to my personality – I’m completely in love with the notion of love but am extremely rational in day-to-day life. I compartmentalize everything.

29 ❤ Even though I’m super organized, I am a closet slob *facepalm* Open my closet at your own risk.

30 ❤ I am addicted to pinterest. I pin images like a crazy bird.

31 ❤ I always find a way to DIY anything I love (refer to the Audrey Hepburn wall decal above).

32 ❤ Once I am ready for going out I hate to be kept waiting. *Let’s go already, Chop! Chop!*

33 ❤ I like slow, soulful songs more than foot-tapping numbers.

34 ❤ I have an insane love for stationery and notebooks. The only thing sad about it is that I just can’t make myself finish one from cover to cover.

35 ❤ I love a good mystery – be it books, movies, sitcoms or life. It’s the spice that genuinely keeps me interested *I hope I never get to know my husband*.

36 ❤ I hate window shopping. I’ll enter the mall only if I have to buy something – a fact my bestie hates in me.

37 ❤ I love talking, talking, talking! I sometimes go super-sonic and eat my words when I get excited.

38 ❤ I can keep a secret really well – but that’s mainly because of my short term memory. My brain reboots every few days, but hey, that only means that I’ll always find your stories new and exciting, Yea!

39 ❤ One day I want to sleep under a night sky full of twinkling stars, listening to old romantic songs, snuggled in a cozy blanket.

40 ❤ Even though I’m not scared of heights, I cannot bring myself to stand on a chair or table or any place from where I can fall and break a limb. *shudders*

41 ❤ I love swimming. It’s my favourite form of exercise. Wish I could say the same for my chlorine-abused hair and skin.

42 ❤ I always have to write my thought in a notebook before typing them out on my laptop – Yes, I am an old soul trapped in a young body!

43 ❤ I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo but am dead scared of needles.

44 ❤ My friends and family call me ‘a delicate darling’ as I bruise like a peach!

45 ❤ My favourite fruit is – green grapes – because you can just pop them in your mouth – Yes, I’m lazy! Why not other berries, you ask? Because grapes make wine too 😉

46 ❤ I love baking desserts. I love eating them more!

47 ❤ I can’t stand people with bad grooming habits – especially unkempt nails *yuck!*

48 ❤ I love brands – “I am too poor to buy cheap things” – a quote I swear by!

49 ❤ I love pastels and neutrals more than pop.

50 ❤ Here’s my biggest revelation – I talk to myself when I’m alone – There, it’s out now! I’m a complete WEIRDO! :$


Gosh this was hard but also a lot of fun. Apologies if it was a bit too lengthy. Hope you had fun reading my random facts. Do drop a comment with your thoughts on it and also if you try it out. I’d love to get to know you guys a bit better too. Cheers, and have a happy weekend! Untitled

The Liebster Award!

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Hey there, Lovelies! Hope you all are having a great weekend. Well, I have been nominated for my first ever Liebster Award by the lovely Sarah Knueppel @ http://www.atasteoftheforbiddenfruit.com  A special thank you to Sarah for nominating me. Guys, if you haven’t been to her blog already then do pop over and say hi!

So, Here go the rules :

1) Thank and link the person who nominated you.
2) Answer the questions given by the nominator.
3) Nominate 11 other bloggers and link them.
4) Create 11 new questions for the nominees to answer.
5) Notify all nominees via social media/blogs. Continue reading